u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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