If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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