Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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