it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
