He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
