i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
zippers are such a cool invention
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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