This is not my ceiling
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
