The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
