i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i black out too much to be "responsible"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
