I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
