you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
