Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
