And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
