i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
