I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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