I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize