I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
