Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
