Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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