so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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