My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
