He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
