He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
