sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
