Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
