And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
