so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
