yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
