ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
