32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
