Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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