well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We just shotgunned beers for America
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
