break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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