how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
