JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
