so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
