i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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