dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
