This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
