Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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