9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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