Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
