Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
