omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
