I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
