I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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