How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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