Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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