Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
