Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
