discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
