Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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