I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
