I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
