yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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