im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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