Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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