but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
