hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
