They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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